I can’t believe that I’m sitting here typing this (especially at 4 AM on a Thursday morning). My first blog post. I can honestly say that until about a couple of weeks ago, I would’ve laughed in your face if you told me that I would be creating my own website to share blogs.
Why would I have laughed in your face?
- I was always so terrified of what people think that it kept me stagnant. I wouldn’t go after new opportunities out of fear of sucking. I wouldn’t speak up in meetings out of fear of being wrong.
- This fear of what others think was magnified by sharing content on social media. In my eyes, consistently creating Instagram posts, blog posts, etc. to share with others was basically a neon sign saying “HI, JUDGE ME! PICK ME APART! TELL ME WHY THIS IS ALL WRONG AND I DON’T DESERVE TO HELP ANYONE!”
- I was a perfectionist. I struggled with knowing when my work was good enough, so I was constantly seeking validation from others.
Did you notice how all of those bullet point were in the past tense? I am no longer letting those flaws define me. I am proud of the things I have learned in my first 3 years in the tech industry. I believe that my transformation from future mathematician to developer to a consumer finance data analyst is worth sharing. I believe that my voice as a woman in an field overwhelmingly flooded with men is worth being heard.
This was not an instant change, though. Let me tell you. This process has taken months of introspection and growth.
It all started when I created my Instagram account in October 2019. I was so excited to meet so many people who were passionate about learning more in the fields of engineering and science. It was especially empowering to connect with strong, successful women who are trailblazers in their fields and at their workplaces.
My experience on Instagram has been amazing so far. But, I have been itching for more. First, I have a lot to say (as you can see from this first post) and Instagram captions that I spaced out in a text editor on some random website were just not cutting it. Also, I have really been wanting to post more thought out, well-rounded, organized educational posts that can act as a tutorial or full lecture – rather than a photo carousel that is trying its hardest to get the point across.
You might also be thinking, Haley.. why not just make an account on Towards Data Science and call it a day? Well, you’ve got a good point. Towards Data Science is a fantastic platform that actually inspired me to do what I am doing now. But, I believe I have so much more to share with the world than just data science posts. I want to share with you all how I’ve changed my mindset to finally start believing in myself and my abilities. How I am ridding myself of the fear of sucking. How I am trying (and struggling) to stay fit and take care of my body. How I am falling more and more in love with exploring the world and all of the beauty it has to offer.
More than anything, I believe that if a younger version of myself could’ve had a platform like this run by a person who genuinely wanted to help me learn and grow into the best version of me, I would be so much better off than I am now.
So that, my friends, is why I’ve created the data dreamer platform. If I can reach at least one man or woman who believes they can’t, and provide them the educational resources, organizational techniques, self care practices, coping mechanisms, and positive mindset necessary to show them that they indeed CAN, I will feel that I’ve accomplished my goal.
Thank you for reading my first blog. You don’t know how special it is to finally be able to reach other people with my words.